Friday, November 16, 2012

Sweet Peace, Bitter Guilt . . . Oh, the Heck with the Guilt

I was just thinking that I haven't used the "momguilt" label enough lately. It's a lovely late-fall afternoon. Snow is melting off the trees. Turkey soup is underway on the stove. Challah dough is obediently rising, and in a few minutes I will collect He'en for the braiding.  I will go shovel the porch in just a moment. Probably.

Dragon Girl is napping in her bassinet after a happy day of snuggles and play with her beloved auntie. He'en is in her room with a new My Little Pony, enjoying her time of snuggles and play with her beloved auntie.

And I, am I holding either one of them? Playing with either one of them? Oh, no. I am sitting in the kitchen nibbling cheese and crackers, perusing other momblogs.

On the one hand, I want to defend myself and say "Well, I had all night with Dragon Girl, and a cozy morning snuggle, and we'll reconvene this evening for the night shift."

As to the older child, I want to defend myself and say, "I took He'en to the thrift store, and we sewed together on her Halloween costume, and we made challah dough together and we will soon perform the happy daily ritual of braiding it."

Those things sound good. But they do not a full day constitute.


20 calendar days later:

Pfft, what was that? I am so over the guilt. Those things do damned well a full day constitute.  About six seconds after I sat down to write the above post (completing only what you see), Dragon Girl woke up and demanded milk; He'en emerged from her room and demanded everything; the dog arose from her cushion and demanded pets, treats, and in/out/out/in activity, and everybody generally required a bit ol' slice of Mama Pie.

Accordingly, I post the above and this coda as a reminder to Mamas everywhere, and myself, too:  carpe the heck out of those precious me-moments. You never know when they will appear, and they are fleet fickle little suckers.

Now here is He'en, announcing that she has goosebumps and crawling into my lap as I type. I must go debump my kid.


Three minutes later:

Goosebumps soothed, He'en announces calmly, "I'd yike honey on my Cweam of Wheat. Oh. And yast night I peed in my bed an' my jams."

Oh indeed.

Now, what I was I saying about seizing those little moments?

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